lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
