2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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