is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
