when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
babies were throwing up all over the place
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
