Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
