belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
