Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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