did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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