I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
