I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
