I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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