Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
