last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
