Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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