Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
