i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Randomize
