It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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