this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
