Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize