Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
