dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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