Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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