What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
