roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
