I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Randomize
