So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
