I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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