thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
it wasn't lemon gatorade
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
