I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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