What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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