How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
