But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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