Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
My sheets look like a crime scene.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize