He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
