Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
