I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
