he shaved USA in his pubs
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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