Kiss
Puke
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
