Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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