It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize