Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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