I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
