Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
