Pregnant stripper...not hot.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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