Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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