saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
