I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
