my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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