Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize