so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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