It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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