koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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