you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
