Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
