literally had 100 drinks last night.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
