What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize