are you still at the devil's house?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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