i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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