It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
