At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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