Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
