K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
