But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
