He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
