True but thats because hes a fetus.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Randomize
